here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
