he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
