sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
