it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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