i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize