i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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