You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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