Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
