I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
