i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fuck appropriateness.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
