On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
