this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
