tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize