I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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