Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
