Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
