Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you win again, gameday.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
