wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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