id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
handjob tips. give me some.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ladies don't puke and tell
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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