My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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