I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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