I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Operation Purity has been aborted
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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