billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
