this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
