We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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