so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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