What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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