She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
