I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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