They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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