lets start a swedish sibling band together
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize