he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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