bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
