If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
someone owes me an orgasm
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
