she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
