anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
only if we run a train.
done.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
