And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
