I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Buhtt sex?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
