Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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