I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
