I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
