I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
