Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where did you get a picture of my penis
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
