Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
