I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
