Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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