That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
