Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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