none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
