im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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