We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
