you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The best revenge is premature balding
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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