PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
