i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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