i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
