omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
